The Fifth Maurader
by white-rose701
Summary: It's 1975 and things are just groovy for the Mauraders. James and Lilly finally admitted they were head over heels for each other, Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and prongs are getting into their usual mischief, and the quiditch cup is on the line. As they begin their sixth year, Lilly is keeping a huge secret from James but soon realizes she must tell him.
1. Chapter 1

I pulled on the hem of my sweater, attempting to get it to touch the waistband of my too-tight skirt, it wasn't happening. No matter how much I tugged on the fabrics and tried to rearrange them, a small portion of midriff was exposed. I spent another five minutes in front of the mirror before giving up and throwing on a pair of Petunia's old bellbottoms and one of James' practice jerseys that he'd left in my dormitory. It was nowhere near my Sunday best, but with a thick cloak, hat and scarf, no one would even see my outfit. After a final once-over in the mirror, I headed for the quidditch pitch.

The nausea in my stomach as I searched the crowded stands for Sirius, Remus, and Peter had nothing to do with the upcoming match. Although that too was causing me some anxiety. It was James' first match of his last season, and it was against Slytherin. James had taken the team so far last year as captain, but not far enough. There was a lot of pressure on him now, and I knew the news I had to tell him was not going to help.

"Lil! Lil, over here!" A lanky boy with a pale, scarred face stood up and waved from the very top row of the Gryffindor section of the bleachers. Oh gosh, that would be a hike.

After several minutes of "excuse me's" and gentle shoves, I finally made it to the seat my friends had saved for me.

"Oi! Where've you been Lilly? The match is just about to start and Remus' been calling for you for nearly five minutes before you spotted us!"

"Well I'm here now 'eh Padfoot. All that matters hm?" I climbed over him as I asked and nearly fell in the process. Luckily Remus was as quick as Sirius was strong.

"Oi, Lilly, what's that about?" Sirius asked as he sat me firmly between him and Re.

"Just uh… off today, that's all."

"Everyone has their off days Lil." Remus' eyes told a deeper story than the slight smile he shared with me.

"Ha! You'd know 'ay Moony?" Sirus's playful smile was just enough to lighten my mood. The next best thing to James was his friends; Moony and i had a special friendship and Padfoot never passed up an opportunity to tease me. And then there was Peter. We had never really connected over the past 11 months James and I had been dating. Even now, he sat silently staring intently at the pitch while the rest of us laughed and enjoyed each other's company.

The match was close, which kept it interesting. But finally, it was over. James caught the snitch and crashed triumphantly, and somewhat dramatically into the ground. Me, Sirius, and Remus all stood on our benches screaming and cheering. It took Peter a moment to realize that the game had ended, before he too joined in our celebration.

"Oi! Nice one James!"

" 'Ata boy, Prongs!"

I could only imagine the glowing grin that was stretched across my face. Out of all the people cheering for him, James' eyes were locked only on me. It gave me butterflies, or maybe I was just nauseous. Apparently it was the later because before I had time to give the boys an explanation, I was running down the bleachers and into the closest locker room which, thankfully, was decorated with red and gold.

I was still kneeling on the cold stone floor when there were two sharp knocks on the stall door. I brushed off my knees and flushed the toilet before opening the door. It was Remus.

"You okay Lilly?" He had concern etched into his scarred face.

"Oh, uh yeah Re, I'm fine thanks." I tried to support my statement with a smile but Remus wasn't buying it. "Really, I'm okay. I must've eaten something spoiled." I pushed past him towards the sink to rinse out my mouth.

"Do you want me to find James?"

"No! Oh, no I'm fine Moony, really. I promise."

He looked at me skeptically for another moment before reassuring; "See you in the common room then?"

"Yeah, of course. Just gotta congratulate James. But I'll meet you there." I smiled, genuinely this time to ensure that he would stop questioning me. He nodded and left the locker room just as the team started flooding in.

They were too absorbed in their own private conversations and the glory of the win to notice me standing there, except James. He didn't immediately tear into the dressing rooms like the rest, instead he continued in towards the loo, towards me. " Babe, what are you doing in here? You okay? One minute you were in the stands but I looked away for a second and you were gone." He gave me a once-over as if to double check that I was okay. He even brushed the few fiery strands that had escaped my braid, out of my face.

"Yes, I'm fine, thank you. I must've eaten something bad at breakfast that upset my stomach." I smoothed down my winter cloak to ensure that said stomach was not poking out.

" Feeling better now though?" I nodded and smiled at his genuine concern, so different than the James Potter I thought I'd known for the first five and a half years I'd spent at Hogwarts. "Good." He said pushing his forehead to mine So our noses were also touching; " 'cus I'm gonna fuck you so hard tonight." Oh, there was the 'old' James.

I was speechless, he hadn't talked to me like that in so long. Not since the first week of school, not since quiditch training had started. So all I could do was stand there with a goofy grin on my face, a scarlet blush through my cheeks, and a dozen butterflies in my stomach. "Mmm . that's what I thought baby." He planted a soft kiss on my lips. "See you at the party hun." He pinched my chin like a father would his pouting daughter and he headed to the dressing curtains calling; "Oi! Settle down, the party hasn't started yet!"

He was so proud of his team, how could I ruin his day with this news?


	2. Chapter 2

I got back to my dormitory just in time to change before the team showed up and the party began. There really weren't many options outfit-wise so I kept James' jersey on but traded Petunia's pants for my own black pair. I un-braided my hair and watched as loose red curls fell on my shoulders. It wasn't much, but it would have to do.

Most of Gryffindor house was gathered in the common room. The fire was already raging and the furniture had been pushed to the perimeter of the room.

''Alright, first years I want you to grab as much food as you can. Matter of fact, take the second years with you too, 'eh?" Sirius was standing on a rickety end table near the sofa with Remus and Peter by his sides, the rest of the house was gathered in the center of the now furniture -free room. "Now Remus will take the third and fourth years to The Room to set up tables and chairs. And 'uh , bloody hell, what am I forgetting!?"

"Not like you to forget to bring the _party_ to the party, 'eh Sirius?" I smirked as I fell into a squishy armchair on which Remus was perched on one of the arms.

"Oi! Of course! sixth and seventh years follow ole Wormy up to our dorm and haul the lot over before he heads to the kitchens."

"All of it Sirius?" Wormtail seemed taken back at his friend's request. Perhaps he just was uncomfortable with the thought of smuggling illegal alcohol through the school to then distribute to minors.

"Yeah, I was planning on making a trip out this week anyway." Sirius gave me a knowing wink and shooed Wormtail on his way. You could practically feel the nervous energy rolling off the underclassmen and smell their excitement in being a part of such illicit activities. Sirius appeared to be counting on his fingers as he muttered to himself. ''Ah yes fifth years! Right well 'er why don't you lot head down to the room and make sure people are having fun? And don't let any Slytherins in under any circumstances! Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs are okay. Alright I think that covers everything."

"Thank you everyone for all your help be safe but for Merlin's sake… HAVE FUN!" Remus gave and encouraging fist-pump to the crowd and a sly wink at me. It took a few moments for the stragglers to clear out, but at last it was just Sirius, Lupin and I in the lush common room.

"Ready to go Evans?" Sirius asked as he offered me his arm.

"Uh, just a sec. I want to change real quick." I had been second guessing my outfit ever since I saw what the other Gryffindor girls were wearing. I dashed up to my room and racked my brain for outfit options as I took the stairs two at a time.

I knew I had to look good, more specifically better than all the other girls. I would be judged by every single female in there, and I had to look top notch. Not many outside of our click understood James' and my relationship and too many would love to snatch him from me. Sexy was not my area of expertise, but I could try.


	3. Chapter 3

Finally I decided on a kelly green tunic with eggplant, emerald, and cranberry paisley. I managed to squeeze into an old pair of denim bell-bottoms and finished the outfit with a pair of brown-leather platforms. I pinned a few strands of hair back to expose my "Angel-kissed face," as James would call it, he loved my freckles. After a few extra swipes of mascara, I deemed myself fit to descend to the common room, and make my way towards the party.

"'Bout time 'eh? Thought maybe you fell asleep or somethin'." Sirius chuckled, Remus smiled kindly, and I stuck my tongue out at the pair of them.

"Well let's get outa here hm?" Remus didn't even wait for an answer before climbing through the portrait hole. I questioned his eagerness, parties weren't exactly Remus' "thing." He was more like me, a wallflower. While he enjoyed having a good time and getting into a decent amount of mischief, his studies always came first. I caught up to him in the corridor, with Sirius a few paces behind and fully distracted by the fruit-scented sparks he was making out of his wand.

"Ready to party 'eh Re?"

"Well uh, tomorrow's a full moon Lil." He glanced at me nervously. _Blood hell_ , I thought, _how could I've forgotten!?_

Apparently Remus' thoughts echoed mine; "Not like you to forget really. Not that it's a big deal or anything. I-uh …" He trailed off and cleared his throat. "You just seem a bit er, absent minded? I suppose would be the right way to phrase it. Is everything okay Lilly? Are _you_ okay Lilly?"

Even with the full moon approaching, Remus Lupin still had the time, energy, and room in his kind heart to notice that something was off. Or maybe his werewolf senses were just tingling and he could smell the baby.

I gagged at the thought and threw-up a bit in my mouth.

He noticed.

Sirius noticed.

Luckily we reached the Room of Requirement just in time to avoid awkward questions and obvious lies. Better yet, I didn't have to pace back and forth to make the door appear because just as I started to pass the patch of bare wall a tall, black-haired man wearing bell-bottoms, a too-tight, white v-neck tee-shirt, and maroon Nike trainers burst from the room.

"Lilly! I was wondering when you would be here! I love you." I pushed an already-drunk James back into the epi-center of the party, glad to have escaped the questioning looks of Sirius and Remus.

"Look everyone, Lilly's here. The love of my life and my future wife!" The room burst out in drunken cheers and laughter; if only they knew I was also the mother of his unborn child. My thoughts wandered off towards rattles, diapers and pacifiers. I finally snapped back when James threw a big,fat, slobbery kiss at me, and missed my mouth.

He, even through his drunken stupor, could obviously tell something was bothering me. He pressed his forehead to mine and whispered; "Lilly, why are you sad?" He reminded me of a small child, naive and confused.

"I'm not sad James , I promise" I swallowed back some tears in a fast gulp "I'm actually very happy. You won the match, and now you should celebrate with your friends and teammates." I smiled genuinely and hopefully reassuringly.

"And with you? " He asked, again sounding child-like. It was rather adorable.

"Yes, and with me ." I smiled again, this time from ear-to-ear.

The rest of the night was a blur, and rather exhausting. I kept tabs on James the entire time and occasionally checked in on Sirius, Remus, and Peter. I also had to continuously refuse firewishey and rum. Luckily, everyone was too intoxicated to even notice that I wasn't participating in any drinking games and that I never had a bottle or goblet in my hand for more than the amount of time it took me to dump out the contents or give it away.

By about 2 am, The Room was cleared out. Remus, Peter, and Sirius had a tight system of releasing groups of students every 15 minutes or so. They let about 10 go at a time, with three or four from each house and made sure to watch them carefully on their Map which allowed them to see the whereabouts of everyone in the castle. I'm still not sure how they rigged that thing, but would always be impressed by its accuracy and reliability.

James was pretty wasted, followed by Remus, then Peter. Surprisingly Sirius was the most sober, next to me of course.

"Well it's just us so let's split before the fat lady has a cow with all the students coming in this late." James apparently thought Sirius was a comedian because he burst out laughing.

"Shhh, James!" I pushed his sweaty curls away from his forehead and kissed it gently. "You have to be quiet, do you have your cloak?"

"Lilly, why'd I have a cloa- my cloak in- inside!? Silly!" James stuttered and slurred his way through his answer and practically fell over in the process. It was going to be a long night.

"Can you dig it?" Sirius raised his brows as he pulled the invisibility cloak from his rucksack. "I was hoping James might have uh a lot of fun. I thought ahead." He was obviously proud of himself and threw the cloak over his three drunk friends.

"Wooaahh, duuuuddee!" They all chimed.

I pulled the slippery fabric back so their faces were visible; "Ok boys, you can't spazz in the corridors, got it? You have to stay VERY quiet and just let Pad foot and I handle things. Okay?" They nodded and and smiled. Remus even held a finger up to his lips as I re-covered their faces.

Sirius and I stayed about three paces ahead of the rest of the pack and made quiet conversation to cover the small sniggers and chuckles coming from behind us. We checked and re-checked the map before we turned each corner. It was a clear and smooth journey. The Fat Lady was not happy to see us, but she let us in and I agreed to take James to the Girls' Dormitory so Sirius wouldn't have three drunk roommates. It wasn't easy getting up the stairs, but I managed.


	4. Chapter 4

I woke up at a decent hour, to find James sprawled over my bed. I was trapped beneath his muscular arm and leg. He always slept starfish-style when he was drunk. I managed to wriggle from beneath him and sit up, allowing me to pull back my hangings and checked to see if the other sixth year Gryffindor girls were awake yet; it seemed that everyone had left to breakfast except for Mary. Her curtains remained shut.

I didn't want to wake a hungover James, but I knew I had to. I pushed his curls from his forehead and pressed my lips down gently, "James, it's nearly time to eat."

He grumbled and tossed over, leaving me staring at the back of his head.

"Jaammeess…" I whined into his hear.

"Huhh?" was all I got back. It was becoming more difficult than I had planned.

But I knew just the thing to do the trick! Remus had shown me a charm that gave the illusion that the victim had been doused in freezing water, without actually wetting them. It was very advanced magic and required no incantation but instead a complicated wand pattern and deep concentration. It was my first time attempting such a spell, but I succeeded.

James shot straight up, his eyes practically bulged out of his head, and he was gasping for air. I giggled, he gave me a noogie, and then collapsed back onto my bed, panting. "Bloody hell," he was smirking and staring into my eyes and I felt our souls connect. _We are meant for eachother,_ was all I could think. He placed his strong and calloused hand on my cheek and began stroking my face with his thumb. _This is love,_ I thought.

"Hey Lilly," he breathed "I could stay here forever with you, but I want to meet the guys before breakfast. Is that okay?" Just then he furrowed his brow and pressed his lips against mine, softly, but passionately. "I'm sorry we never got to shag last night." He added with a complicated look on his face. His pink cheeks were embarrassed, his wrinkled forehead was disappointed, and his eyes were longing.

"Oh James it's okay!" I laughed a little. " Go see them, you know it's Remus' last day?"

"Yeah, do you have uh the stuff?" his voice dropped to a faint whisper and his sentence trailed off.

"Of course! You know Slughorn, let's me "practice" brewing whatever I'd like. You know he even offered me access to his private store!?"

"Well of _course_ he did." James rolled his eyes dramatically. "Perfect Lilly Evans, every teacher's dream, every man's nightmare! Hard to get but oh so easy to hold." He took his hand from my face and instead traced my waist and hips, grabbed my butt and then slapped it, hard.

"Oww! Potter, you bloody, prick, son of a…" but just as I was thinking of the foulest creature we had ever encountered in Care of Magical Creatures, Mary woke up.

"Lilly, you still here?"

"Yeah Mare, I'll meet you in the common room okay?"

"Oh, hi James." Mary knew the drill. It happened probably once a week; she would wait patiently either in the shower or the common room for James and I to get dressed and join her.

I heard our dormitory door open and shut, and drew back my curtains. I could feel James eyes boring into my back as I took off his jersey and put on a bra and flannel, followed by bellbottoms and Chuck Taylors (maroon of course).

"You're beautiful Evans." A small smile spread across my lips, and I turned to face him.

"Thank you Potter." I drapped my arms lazily on his shoulders and kissed him, morning breath and all.

Moments later, I couldn't tell you how many, my fingers were tangled in his black curls and my mind lost in the thought of him, James pushed me away gently. "I really must get to Moony…"

"I know, I know." I sighed deeply but immediately began to dig through my trunk. At the bottom was a large flask with a giant stopper, sealed with wax. "This should last the week" I handed him the flask "and _this"_ I said offering up a much smaller glass container "is how much he should take per day. He knows that I'm trying something new by making a week's worth so I won't have to brew it everyday. But _you_ should know that there is a chance that it might not work as well."

He shook his head once, sharply. This was a matter we both took extremely seriously. He placed a charm around the glassware so they would neither clink, nor break, and shoved them awkwardly into his pocket.

"Do you want your cloak?" I asked, skeptical of his current predicament. "No, can I leave it here?"

"Sure." I said just before I muttered and undetectable extension charm under my breath and casually nodded to his pocket. Apparently it was so undetectable that James didn't notice.

"So uh, peter got this new stuff, it's called Dragon's Breath. It's supposed to be really strong, but crazy good. We were gunna try it now at The Shack. You interested?"

"No thanks, I'm gunna get breakfast with Mary, but take a hit for me hm?" I knew all about muggle Pot, but the stuff wizards got their hands on, wow. It was just _groovy_. It really was something else. I'd miss it honestly. For the next few months at least. I didn't necessarily approve of the use of drugs but, I secretly wished I could be a hippie. The idea had always appealed to me when I was younger, and Petunia _hated_ it. Freaks, she called them.

I looked up at the large clock beside Mary's bed and realised that she'd been waiting for nearly a quarter of an hour! I quickly pulled out of my day dream, kissed James goodbye, and hurried down the stairs to the common room.

Mary and I had a quiet, normal breakfast. She questioned why I hadn't gone to the weekly Sunday "wake 'n bake" as the guys called it, but I brushed it off by explaining that I was taking a break this term because of my sister's disapproval. I made sure to point out that I hadn't joined the boys since we'd returned from summer break. She bought it.

I hadn't thought of Petunia lately; I really was due to write her. I could just imagine the I-can't-believe-you-got-knocked-up-by-a-bloody-wizard expression on her face if I told her the news. She hated, no _loathed_ James. Every fiber of her being detested him, his family, his whole kind. My kind. I think she was jealous that I had something she didn't. For so long it was _I_ who envied _her._ But once my 11th birthday hit, that all ended. She no longer called me carrot-top, or freckle-face. Never again had she rubbed in her perfect blonde curls or her long, skinny legs. No. Not once since I turned 11.

But once she knew, oh I was so sure she would begin again. How her life was so bloody perfect, and how she always knew this school was nothing more than a "glorified asylum" as she had said to me when I boarded the train headed into my third year. And _Vernon_. Ugh Vernon. My sister's boyfriend. I'm sure he would just _love_ another reason to hate me and James.

Mary and I may have been quiet during breakfast, but my mind had been busy racing. And just then, morning sickness struck again I made a mad-dash for the nearest toilet. _Great_ I thought...just _groovy_.

About ten minutes later Mary crashed into the room behind me and stood back cautiously as I rinsed my mouth out at the sink.

"Do you want me to get Madam Pomfrey?" she gasped placing her hands on her knees and panting.

"No, I'll be fine, thanks Mare. I think I'm going to get some fresh air. It must've been something I ate." I tried to smile reassuringly as I brushed past her and headed towards the lake to read.

I felt guilty for leaving her standing there alone, but I really need some time to myself to figure out a way to break the news to James. I had to do it this week.


	5. Chapter 5

_**I hope you guys like this chapter, and please keep reading and reviewing. This was supposed to be a small project to pass the time but I'm kind of in love with it now and I think it's a great way for me to get writing again. Enjoy!**_

Almost a week had passed and I still hadn't told James. But it really wasn't my fault!

Even though James had lead the team to victory, he doubled their practice schedule. And the rain didn't help. It poured just about all week as September turned to October and the end of my first trimester drew nearer. Sirius had landed himself in detention for tying Severus's tongue into a knot, and Remus was cooped up all week in The Shack, so that is where I spent most of my time.

The Wolfsbane potion was working just as it should, despite my making it in a large batch rather than in doses. After supper Peter and I disappeared down to the Whomping Willow and brought Remus food and clean clothes. James let me borrow his Invisibility cloak so that at midnight I could meet him at the Quidditch pitch and we could return to the castle together. The whole week played out like this, everyday the same.

Mary seemed to be catching on to my frequent and spontaneous bathroom trips. She never asked many questions though, which I was very grateful for. My morning sickness was not as terrible as some women's (according to the reading I had been doing) but I definitely thought it was pretty bad.

Thursday afternoon I was scanning the library shelves for anything I could find on pregnant witches. I wasn't sure if they would have any books like that in the school library, or if they existed in general. I knew enough about muggle pregnancies and births but I wasn't sure how it went in the magical world. I was just on the verge of tears when I discovered an extremely old and dusty looking magazine. The pages were yellowed and even brown in some places, with lots of tears and rips. I'm not sure why it caught my eye; perhaps because it was neither leather-bound nor embossed with a gold curly title. It looked absolutely well...ordinary.

I delicately shimmied it from between two large volumes and blew off the cover releasing a large cloud of dust floated that in front of me and revealed a drawing of a witch in a housecoat and rollers in her hair. She looked absolutely vintage! The thick eyeliner and lashes were a dead give away. She looked like the Barbie Dolls Tuney and I used to play with except, there was something different about her, something I couldn't place my finger on. I wiped off the cover with my robes in the hopes of making sense of the whole thing.

I sat on the floor in between the stacks, something I often did which some people found very odd, and lit the end of my wand; "Lumos" I whispered. I realised then what separated this women from my Barbie Dolls, and maybe even why I was so drawn to her; she had a baby bump! After clearing the cover I could see that one of her arms was cradling her belly while the other held a wand purposefully over a steaming cauldron. Like most wizarding art, the women moved; she rubbed her belly and waved at me. I caught myself, but I almost waved back.

After reading the title: "Magic Monthly: a Witch's Guide to a Happy Home" I realized I was in the History of Magic section. A few shelves down I found a whole lot of "Magic Monthly" copies with all different witches and headlines like "A woman's smile, the most deadly charm" and "How to keep a happy husband: three simple spells." I was amazed at my find, and skeptical as to why the issue I had found was out of place. I decided it was best to ask as few questions as possible, stuffed it into my bag, and made for the common room.

In the safety of the curtains of my four-poster bed, I transfigured the magazine to look like Standard Book of Spells: Year Six and headed off to dinner. I continued the routine that I'd grown accustomed to this week and only pulled my nose from the pages of the magazine when walking. I was mesmerized.

Later that evening, I sat with Peter and Remus in the Shrieking Shack in front of a fire and peeled back the pages and took in every bit of helpful advice I could find. This was the annual maternity edition of the magazine (I learned this after reading the letter from the editor), apparently every year witches wrote in with stories and tips of their "magical nine months of maternity." I knew the thing was nearly 20 years old, but it was the best I had. I read all about potions for morning sickness, patterns for maternity cloaks and baby-sized witch hats. Rattles enchanted with silencing spells, and how to charm a bottle to never let the milk go cold. There was even a potion to tell the sex of the baby! _I might have to try that_ I thought as Remus took a seat next to me in the warmth of the fire.

Peter was sitting at a rickety table with his head bent low over a roll of parchment, scribbling rapidly and frequently breaking his quill, and then repairing it quickly, before getting back to work.

"So how are you Lil?"

"I'm okay Re, just reading a bit." I couldn't help but smile at the handsome man sitting beside me. If it were anyone else, I'd say they were uncomfortably close. But not Remus. We were best friends.

"You seem pretty stressed out. James has been practicing a lot, huh? I mean, bloody hell, he hasn't been down since Sunday."

"Yeah, he's out of this world with those practice hours! Seriously mad, I swear."

"Hm, you might be onto something there with that mad bit..." he trailed off as his gaze shifted from my eyes to the window. I realized just a second too late what he was looking at; the full moon. His body began to tremble and convulse at odd angles. I was usually fine with his transformation, but I couldn't stomach it right now. I was also, once again, on the verge of tears.

"Peter!" I shrieked, a little too loudly, and definitely more shrilly than I had planned, over Remus' grunting and growling "I- I'm sorry I can't. Not tonight. I- I'm so, so sorry Re."

Peter stared back at me, he'd never seen me act this way. I'd watched Remus change plenty of times and I was usually calm and cool, keeping everyone else relaxed. Not tonight though. I ran as quickly as I could from the shack and out into the chilly air. The light mist felt wonderful against my clammy skin. I kept running to get out of the Willow's reach and headed off towards the Quidditch Pitch. I was about half-way there before I stopped running and started sobbing.

The tears poured down my face, like the rain had this afternoon. I was already out of breath from my run and the sobs weren't making it any easier to breathe at a normal rate. I was gasping. My lungs burned as I pulled in sharp breaths but immediately released the air in a wailing cry. It was kind of disgusting and pitiful. I covered my face with my hands and felt a tingle under my tongue. I was going to be sick. _Of course,_ I thought, _just what I bloody need right -_ "Ahhhhhhh!" I let out a blood curdling scream.

A pair of large hands had clamped themselves to my arms.

"Lilly? Lily, it's me! James. I let out practice a little early to see Remus, but I looked on the map and saw that you had left and I heard you crying. Lily, are you okay?"

I let out a few silent sobs and buried my face into James' warm maroon turtleneck. I could feel his heart beating wildly under it. "I'm going to be sick." I muttered.

"What Lil?" he pulled me reluctantly out of his chest and cupped my face in his hands, automatically he began to stroke my cheek with his thumb.

"I'm going to be sick." I repeated matter-of-factly as I pivoted away from him and dropped to my knees. James gathered my fiery waves and held the fistful of hair in one hand while simultaneously trying to pull my robes off with the other. It didn't matter though.

I missed my school robes completely, but some vomit splattered back at me and landed on my grey jumper. I coughed and just as James began to ask if I was okay, round two came out, again splattering onto my jumper.

I raised my head slowly and sighed; "I'm so sorry James." I felt a tear escape my eye, and brushed it away quickly.

"Sorry?" James let out a small laugh. "Sorry for what Lily?"

I tried to answer, but he cut me off; "Sorry I had to see you like this? Sorry that you through up? Bloody hell, you've seen me a lot worse. I'm your _boyfriend_ Lily Evans, and I love you, and it is my job to take care of you. Don't you bloody apologize for it."

I thought he had been stroking my hair to calm me, but I reached back and felt that it was in a loose and messy braid, tied at the bottom with a bow. "You know how to braid?" I asked very surprised as I stood up and faced him. "I didn't know that…" I trailed off in amazement and admiration.

"I uh, watch you sometimes when you er play with your hair. You know you do it when you're frustrated writing a paper. You braid and unbraid it every three inches or so."

"Oh, I- I didn't realize."

"Ew, let's get you out of this, huh?" He pointed to my soiled jumper, obviously eager to change the subject.

"Well I don't have anything else to wear. I'll just shower when we get back to the tower." I sniffled and flicked away another tear.

"Okay, but after you shower Lily-" his voice got quiet and sort of faded away.

"Yes James?"

"I think we need to talk. Stay in my dorm tonight?"

"Okay." I sighed, fresh batch of tears coated my face, and we silently made our way back up to the castle, hand-in-hand.


	6. Chapter 6

After a cold trek up to the castle, the hot shower felt wonderful. I allowed the steamy air to fill my lungs and clear my head. James was waiting for me in his room, and I didn't want to keep him waiting, but even more so I was terrified to face him. Was this it then? Was this how and when I would tell him? With dripping wet hair and the smell of vomit on every word I spoke? I had imagined a much more uh _romantic_ encounter.

I closed the tap and rung out my long hair before tying it in a large and messy bun on the top of my head. James had lent me a shirt and socks, which I was grateful for. I didn't want to be in my smelly jumper any longer. I approached the mirror and gave myself a once over; beneath the oversized shirt you couldn't see the tiny bump that had formed beneath my belly button, but I knew it was there. I placed my hand on it tenderly and imagined I could feel my baby, though I knew it was way too early in the pregnancy for such a thing. I smiled a little; I really hadn't considered that I was having a baby. Sure I knew I was pregnant, and that meant I would be having a baby, but I had never really realised that James and I would have a son or daughter. With that semi-comforting semi-terrifying thought, I left the bathroom and entered the Marauders' room.

You know the moment when you enter a room and the occupants freeze and stare at you and you get a bloody-hell-these-gits-were-definitely-just-talking-about-me-but-now-they-are-quieter-than-ghosts-and-they-think-I-won't-notice type of feeling? Yeah, that's basically what happened.

Sirius pushed past me awkwardly and muttered something unintelligible under his breath. James patted a spot beside him on his four-poster. His blankets were soft and plush and smelled like, well me. I sat cross-legged and placed my hands gingerly in my lap. I could feel small beads of water dribbling down my neck from my sopping hair. I hung my head and stared at my chipping thumbnails. Just as I was starting to get aggravated at my "long lasting" polish James grabbed my hands.

"Lily," he sighed and gave his head a small shake, as if he didn't know where to begin, "I know I've been practicing a lot lately and I'm really _really_ sorry about that. And you're obviously really stressed or upset or _something_ about it. And Lily, I'm just sorry, okay? You're way more important than Quidditch and I know it probably hasn't seemed like that to you lately though.." his soft voice trailed off and I pitied him. He really thought this was all his fault, and it kind of was, well the pregnancy was (I mean it wasn't his _fault_ but I sure wouldn't have been pregnant without him. But I didn't _blame_ him. No, in that sense it was _both_ of our faults.) but in reality he was speaking about my misery this week, and _that,_ that was my fault.

I took a long, slow, deep breath and raised my head to look into his beautiful chocolate eyes. And he was staring right back at me. He seemed to be searching, searching for some kind of answer. And I guess it was about time I gave it to him.

"James?" He peeled his eyes from mine, closed his gently, and pressed our foreheads together.

"Yes love?" I cupped his perfectly chiseled chin and pulled us apart. I needed to look him in the eyes. I needed to look him in the eyes and hope he wouldn't hate me.

"I have been stressed out lately, and especially this week I guess." I drew another deep breath before continuing; "but it's because I- I have to tell you something, and I just didn't know how." I began to cry. Not silently or discretely, but loudly and grossly. "Ja-ames I- I'm so sorry!" I sobbed uncontrollably. Tears poured from my eyes like a monsoon and I was sniffling like a child who had the flu.

Automatically James scooped me up and pulled me into his lap. He stroked my head and rocked me slowly and gently; back and forth. "Shhh" he begged into my ear "it's okay Lily. Please, _please_ don't cry." I could bring myself to do nothing but bury my face in his chest. He had changed into his pajamas and they were so supple and smelled softly of lavender. I'm not sure how long we stayed there like that, but eventually I stopped crying and I looked up into his eyes once again.

"What do you need to tell me Lily?" I hadn't noticed it but every strong muscle in James' lean body had been tensed. His brow was furrowed and I could feel the anxiety radiating from his skin. "You're not, you're not breaking up with me...are you?" His eyes bored into mine, once again searching. Searching for some hint or clue, I didn't mean to but a giant smile erupted across my face.

"No! No James of _course_ not! Never. Not in one million years! Not in _two_ million years! I will always love you James Potter!" I locked my fingers in his hair, pulled his lips to mine, and kissed him feverishly.

He pulled away hesitantly after a few beautiful moments. " So what is it then?" he asked curiously.

I hesitantly slid from his lap and took my seat in front of him once again. This time it was I who took his hands in mine.

"James," I took one last deep breath, this was it; "I'm pregnant."


	7. Chapter 7

He looked absolutely spellbound. Flabbergasted. Confused. Speechless.

"What?" he breathed the word so quietly I almost didn't hear him. A single tear had escaped his eye and was rolling down his porcelain face.

"I'm pregnant." I repeated a little more loudly, and with a bit more confidence

"Oh Lily!" He shouted and lunged at me. The next thing I knew he was spinning in circles with me in his arms. Finally he set me down on the floor and while it did take a moment for me to regain my balance, he never took his arms from my waist. "Lily this is _wonderful_!" He sat back on his bed.

"It is?" Now _I_ was the one confused. His reaction was taking me by surprise. It was definitely not what I had expected.

He grabbed my arm and jerked me onto the bed beside him. "Yes, it is! Lily, we're going to have a _baby_ together. Me and you. Us. And that, in my opinion, is wonderful."

He laid his shaggy, jet-black curls on his pillow and pulled me into his arms. "But James, what are we going to do? I can't stay in school! But I can't drop out either and, and aren't you _mad_?"

"What could I possibly be mad at you for? Sure, I would've liked to have known sooner but you were obviously very upset by the whole thing. And yeah, it's not gunna be groovy the whole time and we're going to have some problems that we need to work out. But honestly? More than anything I'm just happy that we're together and happy." He smiled an intoxicating grin which revealed his perfectly straight and white teeth. Gently, he pressed his lips to mine and breathed the words "I love you."

"OY WORMTAIL! I bloody hell told you to wait a minute! How'd _you_ like it if someone walked on you during a row, eh? Honestly Prongs, I tried to tell 'em to wait!"

Peter had burst into the room suddenly with Sirius right on his heels. "Blimey Padfoot, it's my room too and shove-off if you think you can stop me from getting some sleep, you arse!"

I couldn't stop giggling. Sirius was so invested in mine and James' relationship, it was quite comical.

"It's fine guys, we weren't having a row and I guess we won't be shagging since you're all here!" James smirked at me devilishly and chuckled to his friends. "Oy how 'bout a drink then 'eh?"

"Now we're talking!" Sirius immediately went to his trunk and began rummaging through it.

"Really, on a Thursday night!? It's bloody 2 a.m.!"

"Calm you're bullocks Wormy,"

"Yeah, that means it's technically Friday!" added James. He was now helping Sirius take out a bottle of Firewhiskey and some glasses from pairs of old socks and knickers.

I felt so relieved that James knew, it was like a weight was lifted from my chest and the knot in my stomach had been untied.

"I'm sorry, but I want to _sleep_." Peter said out-of-the-blue.

"But _I_ want to _celebrate_!" James said, clinking empty glasses with Sirius.

"And what will we be celebrating tonight?" Asked Sirius as he poured out four glasses of bubbling, amber liquid.

James looked at me and I could do nothing but smile; he had put such a positive twist on the thing I had been dreading for almost three months. James beckoned me over with the wave of a finger and I immediately joined him. He slipped his arm around my waist and pressed his lips to my ear; "Can we tell them?" I nodded and gazed, almost star-struck, into his eyes.

"Well boys, I propose a toast," James was grinning ear to ear, Sirius was smirking and shaking his leg (either a dog habit or he was just that eager to drink) and Peter rolled his eyes before slumping onto his bed. "I propose a toast to the fifth Marauder!"

Sirius and Peter looked blankly at James as Remus walked in. "Oy, what's all the ruckus about, shouldn't you lot be asleep?"

I couldn't hold back the news from my bestfriend any longer; "Remus, I'm pregnant!"

I sprinted towards the skinny and scarred man that embraced me like a brother. I peeked up from Re's sweater to see James grinning at the two of us but just then I almost lost my balance. Sirius was yanking me towards him. He held me at arm's length and gave me a small shake.

"You're lying right? There isn't going to be another brainiac running around here is there? Or worse, a little James!?" I shook my head slowly, Sirius was always the hardest to read.

"Oi, you're not kidding, are you?"

"No, I'm not." James had reacted so differently than his friends.

"Well congratulations Lil!" Sirius pulled me in for a giant bear hug. "It's not gunna be easy, but we'll be here for you." It was very odd for Sirius to be this, well, _serious_. His eyes seemed a little watery, as if tears were just at the brim but he was trying with all his might to not let them escape. Finally, he released me from his grip and turned to James.

The two stared at each other for moments that felt like years; clear blue and chocolate brown,, never blinking, never losing focus. Finally Sirius broke the intense silence.

"Congrats Prongs!" Sirius clapped James on the back and held him longer and tighter than he had held me, I had never known Sirius to be such an emotional man, but I was glad my child would have the blessing to know him. _My child._ Good Lord, I am having a child.

Before I could get too lost in thought, the four boys whom I loved most dearly were all embracing and chattering. Well, three. Peter sat white as a ghost on his four poster bed. I sat next to him to give the others space.

"It's not that I'm not happy for you Lily," he said as soon as I sat down, "it's just, have you really thought about this? A baby is a _lot_ of responsibility, not to mention expensive. Are you ready for that? Is _James_ ready for that?" The harsh reality of his words stung. I watched James for a few moment before answering; he was downing Firewhiskey and cracking jokes with his friends.

"No Peter, I'm not. And I suppose James isn't either" it saddened me to speak these words out loud, James had been _so_ excited when I broke the news to him. But I couldn't deny, he had a lot of growing up to do himself before he could raise a child. "But I also suppose," I continued, placing a hand on Peter's tattered robes and looking him in his sharp black eyes, "we're going to have to be."

He smiled sadly at me and placed his hand on mine with a soft squeeze. "It'll all work out. We're all here for you." With that he got up and joined his friends, "Someone said something about a celebration I think?"

I too joined them and passed out shot glasses of Firewhiskey (excluding myself of course). James' arm slid comfortably around my waist and he drew circles with his thumb on my hip bone. "To the fifth Marauder!"

 _*** I hope you liked it! Hopefully I'll write a few companion pieces this summer. Please leave a review or a comment, even if you didn't love it, criticism is appreciated! ***_


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